2 Powerful Insights You Can Learn from the Villains in Your World

2 POWERFUL INSIGHTS YOU CAN LEARN FROM THE VILLAINS IN YOUR WORLD

Most leaders we see have a sense that they have more to give, that some portion of their energy or creativity is getting absorbed in unproductive concerns. We use shadow work as a way to expose where those energy sucks might be and clarify them. Here is a way you can do that for yourself.

Since Carl Jung first coined the term "shadow", countless studies and articles have been written about the human tendency to project fear and shame on one another. It is totally pervasive, this mechanism of finding a villain who represents the things we are most afraid of, or least want to be like. Psychology sees projecting yourself onto others is a self-defense mechanism. It helps people deal subconsciously with discomforts that might otherwise be super painful to confront.

Your Villains As Teachers

However, for those of us obsessed with the full expression of human potential, our villains are a great opportunity to know ourselves better.

To be clear, for each of us there are bad actors that may do harm to what we care about. Reasons to oppose, protest or protect. While a mature warrior respects his opposition, what we villainize is a different process altogether.

Uncover Your Shadow

I suggest setting up a small table or corner of your room to be an ‘altar’ to what you villainize. Put a pen and some post-it notes nearby.

Lately it feels like there are plenty of stimuli that could trigger the villain mentality. Battles, close and far, about who is right, what is precious and what needs changing. You know your psyche has turned all this into angels versus villains when you feel hate, when you cannot empathize or even understand the other point of view, when you feel fear even though you are safe, when you are speaking of certain people as if they were another species. When what side you're on is not just a perspective but an identity.

Use the altar space to go beyond the coping mechanism. Rather than numbing us, we want our villains to make us more aware. Whenever you notice yourself villainizing, write that on a post-it note and place it on your alter space. Write the name of the villain, and the characteristics that trigger you. Keep going deeper by translating the specific circumstance of the villainy into the general behaviors that you hate so much, the harms you fear so intensely, or traits you find so shameful. You can use objects as symbols alongside the notes. Build an evocative display of what represents villainy for you.

Contemplate the Result

It may take a few days to flesh out your villain altar. Once it feels really juicy, set aside 30 minutes with a pad of paper to write about what all this reveals about yourself. You might start with the question: How am I like this? Explore also: Where might I have learned to hate or fear this? What repeating patterns does this create in my life? How might my aversion to these energies be suppressing parts of myself that I need? What do I want to do differently?

I have found exposing and owning my villain in this way opened a space of deep calm in me. A sense of unity. Initially, it was disturbing to feel kinship with what I had been previously holding as abhorrent, to notice how–albeit in very different ways–I do that too. Then calming. I may still oppose but I am not divided from what I protest. It is all part of one creative process unfolding.

Curious to hear your experience of the villain/angel split.

Best,
David Lesser